Prego Diary
by ideasofmany
Summary: Gabrielle convinces Xena to jot down stuff in a diary to chronicle events during her pregnancy. This is what she jots...


**Disclaimer:** Xena not mine

**Subtext:** Yup they are together.

**Description:** Xena's pregnancy diary. She's got a bit of a Gabrielle obsession going with all those hormones. The entries loosely based on the episodes leading up to Eve's birth. I apologize in advance for this crazy one shot. I just had to get it out of my system.

Dear Diary,

I threw up a couples of times. I have really strange cravings, not as strange as a certain green-eyed bard. I didn't know what to tell her when I found out I was knocked up. She gave me a stare down and mostly quiet questioning. I think she was angry, but at the same time trying to figure out who we were around a month ago. I chose to tell her in front of everybody so she'd have to be calm around everyone. Score one for the warrior princess for getting out of that disaster. How in Hades am I pregnant? Gabrielle isn't that talented, or is she?

X

* * *

Dear Diary,

Alti reared her ugly head into my business once again. There I was minding my own business, puking my guts out and she comes in trying to steal my baby's soul so that she can be reborn. What a bitch! One good thing came out of this. I think Gabrielle has warmed up to this baby, she even told me she feels as though it is her own as well. She seems to take pity on me, and pamper me after the ordeal. I wonder what else I can get her to do. She says she likes taking care of me and that I should relax. I told her that I'd like her to get me to relax in that way that only she could. Needless to say, I'm a boneless pile of skin. This pregnancy thing isn't so bad with Gabrielle around.

X

* * *

Dear Diary,

So, Lao Ma sent me on another mission, even dead she puts me through tests. So another one of her children had gone astray, so I had to eliminate the green dragon copycat. I finally mastered that concentration thing in order to use the powers. Turns out all I need is to be consumed or focused on something. It helps that I had a nice thing to focus on. Mhmm those abs of Gabrielle. I'd worship that altar. Pao Su was doomed.

X

* * *

Dear Diary,

Okay, so those pesky dead children of Lao Ma's told the secret of black powder so I had to save a bunch of people, AGAIN. Turns out though that the powers weren't working for me again. Had to find another thing to focus on, basically focusing on the people I didn't want them hurting. I didn't mean to turn them all into stone. The only one I wanted to turn to stone was Lin Qi, but oh well, at least I'm alive and Gabrielle is too.

X

* * *

Dear Diary,

I got myself in a mess thinking around Aphrodite. I almost was stuck in a young girl's body. I just felt so bad for that girl and could imagine if my child was in her place. That goddess is such an airhead. I did get a much needed rest, helped Daphne realize that her father loves her, and put that warlord Tharon in his place. Still wish I could have seen Gabrielle and Aphrodite oil wrestling.

X

* * *

Dear Diary,

Callisto is my child. I'm not so sure how I feel about that, but I am so glad Gabrielle didn't have to be the one pregnant. She's still a bit scarred by the whole pregnant with a demon thing, she didn't need another demon in her. We also lost Eli, we'll miss him but he believes it was his destiny. It's getting really hard to fight being this pregnant, but Gabrielle seems to be picking up the slack. I'm a little worried though, she's a bit too quick to fight. Gabrielle sure is nice to watch while fighting. She sure has come into the warrior role quite well. My hero. Those muscles rippling and tensing, those abs ….

X

* * *

Dear Diary,

Who fights over a lyre? Give me a break. I've got more important things to do. Though it was kind of fun to do some singing and dancing. That and seeing Gabrielle in that go-go outfit, got my juices flowing. My mom was trying to set me up with a couple of guys, I swear she is naive when it comes to me and my bard. Draco made a reappearance obsessing over my bard. I wanted to gut him. My bard seems to be bothered by the fact that dork face Joxer is smitten with another Amazon. I have no idea why when she's got me, I am the epitome of awesome.

X

* * *

Dear Diary,

I love Gabrielle, but she seriously needs to get over her obsessing over having writers block. Of course she'd have writers block, it's kind of hard to remember details when you are the one fighting. Did I mention she accused me of being cranky. That's horse crap. Speaking of horses, she got herself and Argo shrunk. How she gets into these situations, I can never tell. On the bright side I got to pummel some people with pies and won a bet. I won some 'backrubs' and no chores. I don't know why she threw in the cooking, she always cooks anyway. Food poisoning isn't such a good idea while pregnant.

X

* * *

Dear Diary,

Stupid self fulfilling prophecy idiot Gods. They thought my baby would bring about the 'Twilight of the Gods'. You'd think powerful beings would have more sense. Zeus is dead, Herc killed him. Ares tried to weasel his way back by trying to seduce me. One of these days I'll tell him that he doesn't turn me on half as much as my 'blond girlfriend' does. Haha to see the look on his face if I said that would be priceless. I mean the woman is mortal and she never left my side in the face of a God's wrath, what's not to love. I also got to see Solon while trying to steal Hades' helmet to hide. He wanted me to call his sister Eve. Welcome to the world Evie. Damn, Gabrielle must be cutting onions again.

X

**Authors Note: I apologize if you wasted your time reading this XD. **


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